The Undermac Files

Wed, Jan 03, 2001 01:56:37 AM: Equinas: that's OK ramla it's all Greek to me 01:57:11 AM: Server: ramla is shadowirc@ppp5.kil.forthnet.gr Tue, Jan 09, 2001 02:37:49 AM: joybutton had $24,050,613,108.36 in charges last month for long-distance masturbation from hell Tue, Jan 16, 2001 10:36:53 PM: Snausages: Coolest thing I ever saw a cop wearing was a t-shirt 10:36:59 PM: Snausages: black 10:37:28 PM: Snausages: white lettering on the back: "Trained Expert- Bomb Squad... 10:37:47 PM: Snausages: ...If you see me running, try to keep up!" Wed, Jan 17, 2001 02:57:39 AM: Possible: got a nice log now :) 02:57:56 AM: J88: THAT I didn't want to know 02:58:09 AM: fGewA: log 02:58:11 AM: fGewA: as in, wood 02:58:16 AM: Possible: log as in file 02:58:32 AM: J88: you FILE it? that's got to hurt 11:41:20 PM: Icegod: "If you're really a Goth, where were you when we sacked Rome?" 11:52:29 PM: Vigilante: I'm putting a bunch of lead in the envelopes that I return when people spam the company name on my internic registration with snail mail 11:53:06 PM: fGewA: must cost a bundle in postage tho 11:53:12 PM: Vigilante: I should just start wrapping bricks and gluing the envelopes to the top Wed, Jan 24, 2001 04:19:25 PM: Katherine: don't easte all my eeeeee's =P 04:19:59 PM: fGewA: eeeee...*drip*...*drip*...*drip*... 04:20:06 PM: fGewA: damn, w'r out. 04:20:33 PM: fGewA: damnit drks, you xhaustd all th 's. :P 04:21:11 PM: TedEBear: whn you run out of 's, you rally gt mssd up. 04:22:20 PM: TedEBear: you know, th situation could b much wors than prviously thought. 04:23:05 PM: fGewA: y, w cld rn t f vwls ntrly. 04:22:54 PM: TedEBear runs to th local '' stor. 04:21:35 PM: arcus deploys much needed vowels to #macintosh Sun, Jan 28, 2001 03:10:08 AM: UnderMac: Viper-X, I have not seen UnderMac in the last week. 03:10:28 AM: cluebot: I haven't seen 'cluebot', fGewA 03:10:54 AM: UnderMac: Viper-X, I have not seen porn in the last week. 03:10:58 AM: MacGOD: Viper-X, I don't remember seeing porn. Wed, Jan 31, 2001 11:07:25 PM: cookiemon: To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing 11:09:09 PM: cookiemon: Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket? 11:14:32 PM: cookiemon: Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying NO HARD FEELINGS 11:13:31 PM: cookiemon: <Vco> like the guy here who tried to change his name to "Haywood Jablome" to win a radio contest.. Wed, Feb 14, 2001 12:00:13 AM: neopoke: fGewA... why is it that an application says it only takes up 2MB, but then loads and plays a 20MB file? 12:00:41 AM: fGewA: bad aim? 11:05:25 PM: Jeff_H: some idiot is scanning my ports heh 11:06:04 PM: Jeff_H is bored 11:06:17 PM: BrainWorm: how can you tell Jeff? 11:06:32 PM: fGewA: he's the one who's bored, he should know 11:51:32 PM: Icegod: timeless: salut Babble, what have you been up to lately? 11:51:32 PM: Icegod: Babble: drugs, sex, violence, tapioca. 11:51:33 PM: Icegod: Babble: the usual 11:51:44 PM: Icegod: tapioca... now _that_'s random 11:51:49 PM: xopbox: tapioca isn't random 11:52:02 PM: EtherKnot: tapioca is like, premeditated. 11:52:17 PM: NewUser0: SOMEONE HA A CRACK PASSWORD 11:52:28 PM: fGewA: newuser - NO, NO ONE HA A CRACK PASSWORD Sun, Feb 18, 2001 01:45:58 AM: wankle: I know "dead_ed" has a large one 01:45:58 AM: wankle: I almost had to help him move it 01:53:26 AM: Advenger: i know my personality inproves when unconcius. 01:53:35 AM: Falcon-: and your spelling to Wed, Feb 21, 2001 01:54:57 AM: SamGod: fGewA: considering I had only heard of it until what I thought was a normal human female that I had actually grown to like quite a bit, with whom I had arguments and in-depth discussions with, I found to be some fucking grad student's CS thesis in AI and neural nets.... 01:56:12 AM: Coda: reason #439567337465 why online relationships are a crock of shit Sat, Feb 24, 2001 12:40:02 AM: SamGod: votergate: Newton's 2nd Law of motion: A computer that's left on will stay on unless otherwise shut off. A computer that's off will remain off unless otherwise turned on. 12:40:32 AM: votergate: sam god i actually asked by bill [clinton] to pardon me ... but my check bounced Sun, Feb 25, 2001 03:06:08 AM: GrndZero: "Shopping? Lowest prices for landon *!*#%&#!* are always at DealTime" 03:06:24 AM: GrndZero: "Get expertise on landon *!*#%&#!* at the right price InfoRocket.com" Sun, Mar 04, 2001 02:43:59 AM: EtherKnot: I have social skills, I just got back from my swim. 02:44:35 AM: SamGod: EtherKnot: interacting with water isn't a social activety since water isn't another human being Thu, Mar 08, 2001 11:08:38 PM: DerekS: Whats the Sp spelling of Steve? 11:08:53 PM: fGewA: the Sp spelling? 11:08:54 PM: fGewA: Shp? 11:09:38 PM: DerekS: Some Steves spell it with a Sp 11:11:37 PM: fGewA: Speve? 11:13:12 PM: Tolls: hi, i'm speve. 11:45:33 PM: Icegod: browse: The distinction between geek and nerd is largely a formality. Neither gets you laid. Sat, Mar 10, 2001 12:00:39 AM: dithi: i'm the biggest NiN fan that ever lived 12:00:58 AM: EvilStein: the biggest? You're that 520lb dude I saw at the show in LA?!?!! 12:00:59 AM: EvilStein: HEY!! 12:01:16 AM: EvilStein: You're the one that stole my polish dog! I waitedin line for 45minutes to get that Sun, Mar 11, 2001 12:36:58 AM: fGewA: emacs does everything except cook your laundry and wash your food 01:24:05 AM: timeless: ---> You are user -1 out of 200 allowed in your usage class. <-- Thu, Mar 15, 2001 12:48:44 AM: Icegod: here's a question... i have shirc set up to connect to us.undernet.org, right? 12:48:52 AM: fGewA: icegod - I dunno. you tell us Wed, Mar 21, 2001 04:08:09 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: Magn0lia: actually we know everything, but sometimes we don't like to tell people. Fri, Mar 23, 2001 03:43:31 PM: Twist-: "Foot and mouth believed to be first virus unable to spread through microsoft outlook." Sat, Mar 24, 2001 01:41:07 AM: TomSawyer: it better be some quality porn if you're going to install M$-media player to watch it ;) Wed, Mar 28, 2001 01:17:26 AM: FatherPi: hmm...what is word for thing that keeps your engine from running over a pre-set limit? 01:17:42 AM: fGewA: fatherpi - empty gas tank 11:18:07 PM: AstroTral: How does one conjugate verbs in Dog? 11:18:28 PM: Falcon-: Astro: add a growl Thu, Mar 29, 2001 11:34:06 AM: JFK: Nikki-: your ! key seems depressed. Has it seen a psychotherapist lately? Fri, Mar 30, 2001 03:06:50 AM: MacDragon: no means no? 10:57:21 AM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: <Magn0lia> Twist: the question is, how does using os x compare to being skullfucked with a ramrod? Sat, Mar 31, 2001 02:18:48 AM: Twist_: can't say I've gad the displeasure. 02:18:51 AM: Twist_: had, even 02:19:30 AM: joybutton: Twist: well, you haven't gad the displeasure either, so the statement is still true. 11:19:03 PM: BatmanPII: look!! .. [EFnet #macintosh is] actuallyhelping users! 11:19:19 PM: fGewA: helping users? what the *@#%#!! are you doing to them? :) Sun, Apr 01, 2001 12:39:07 AM: arcus1: is eating scabs cannibalisn? 12:39:20 AM: fGewA: arcus - you came HERE [#macintosh] to ask that? 10:32:21 PM: Grond: hsee\ 10:32:33 PM: Grond: hselp 10:32:40 PM: Grond: *\keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 10:33:09 PM: Grond: da' 10:33:09 PM: Grond: ** 10:34:06 PM: Grond: *\HSA* 10:32:53 PM: fGewA: grond - sorry, we don't sell replacement keyboards 10:37:41 PM: mledford: I just think like a fish. :) 10:38:18 PM: fGewA: mledford - glubbblurgubluborg 10:39:13 PM: mledford: fGewA: blubabab bobllegur blurg 10:39:29 PM: fGewA: gurgobmobeuorbiorgug Mon, Apr 02, 2001 12:01:10 AM: jorler: fgewa what should be done to the iCab? 12:02:39 AM: jorler: I am not so clued up on Ibac:) 12:47:26 AM: Capa: hey can i connect to two different servers imultaneously in shadowirc? 12:48:59 AM: fGewA: use the connections prefs 12:49:00 AM: Server: Capa has signed off (ircii->shadowirc) 12:49:02 AM: fGewA: or not 03:50:31 AM: fGewA: samgod - so you're a guilty pathetic sexually-desperate little girl. FINE. that's nice 04:00:34 AM: Coda: Wht do you throw a drowning lawyer? 04:00:46 AM: Coda: a BRICK, and you throw it HARD 04:01:13 AM: Coda: whad did the fish say when it ran into the wall 04:01:21 AM: Coda: "dam" 06:07:26 AM: Magic_Al: time to go to work 06:07:32 AM: Magic_Al puts on the superhero suit 06:23:47 AM: fGewA: I said 'get MoviePlayer 2.5, which comes with QuickTime 2.5' 06:24:13 AM: fGewA: which expands to 'get QuickTime 2.5, back up QuickTime 4.1, install QuickTime 2.5 and MoviePlayer 2.5, remove QuickTime 2.5, put back QuickTime 4.1' 09:56:08 AM: DShadow_: now that's a euphemism for "lays off" if I've ever seen one.. 09:56:17 AM: DShadow_: "Netcentives to crop 120 jobs" -- News.com Tue, Apr 03, 2001 12:37:40 AM: J88_: so classic crashed... 12:37:42 AM: J88_: my dock disappeared 12:37:47 AM: fGewA: and your wife left you Wed, Apr 04, 2001 10:16:36 AM: TomSawyer: woohoo! I got a totally unique rejection letter today. The position has been _withdrawn_. I could probably work that around to mean: You were certainly qualified but the thought of employing you lead us to see that the position really isn't _that_ critical. 10:17:38 AM: DShadow_: tom- "We just lost our last round of funding, so while we'd like to hire you, we can't afford to pay you without taking the BMW away from the CEO." Thu, Apr 05, 2001 12:54:51 PM: Server: FarmerJoe has signed off (Connection Reset by some Facist Bastard at MacMall) 10:41:06 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: Coda: as long as it's still up on saturday I'll be happy Fri, Apr 06, 2001 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: "Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?" 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: "Umm, sir, that is new information to me, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" 12:07:12 AM: ChrisC: "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?" 12:07:25 AM: ChrisC: "Lady, the point is this: if I played with your tits twice a day, but only screwed you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?" Sat, Apr 07, 2001 12:09:09 AM: Server: SeanyAW has signed off (some day i'm going to find 'peer' and reset 'his' conection) Sun, Apr 08, 2001 10:39:29 PM: BrainWorm looks at his MacMall catalog that he was just fixing to order from. 10:39:55 PM: Coda hands BrainWorm a bottle of lighterfluid and his Zippo* 10:40:14 PM: BrainWorm: burn baby burn 10:40:29 PM: fGewA takes the zippo and exchanges it with a flamethrower 10:40:33 PM: fGewA: this is just more fun ;) 10:57:25 PM: Icegod: AYB [zero wing ('all your base are belong to us')] is a tool of the devil 10:57:47 PM: fGewA: only if you play it backwards 11:14:28 PM: DsignG4: if you do anything not of the four buttons crashes like a kennedy off a bridge at mignight 11:26:03 PM: MReedB: this Gateway sux goatballs 11:26:17 PM: EtherKnot: shouldn't that be, cowballs? 11:26:22 PM: MReedB: friggin 733 MHz Celeron 11:26:37 PM: MReedB: dang thing is so slow a 6100 Mac can beat it Mon, Apr 09, 2001 01:02:00 AM: MReedB: man Pea Ridge is *dead* on a Sunday night 01:02:20 AM: MReedB: 'they could roll up the sidewalks and nobody would miss them' 10:36:12 PM: ||THC||: You think? 10:36:21 PM: J88: I try not to make a habit of it 11:05:07 PM: |LSD-25|: Nikki, are you wearing deodorant? 11:05:21 PM: Nikki_: LSD yes 11:05:38 PM: |LSD-25|: Well, change the brand cause its not working... 11:05:26 PM: MReedB: weeeeeehow! 11:05:30 PM: MReedB: I did it! 11:06:13 PM: Twist-: reed: changed some dude's depends without getting shit on yourself? Tue, Apr 10, 2001 01:22:19 AM: MReedB is being abused by his wife - I think if I do not take the garbage to the curb life is gonna stay bad 01:23:03 AM: MReedB: but but honey! we will be depriving mice of food if I take it out! 01:23:08 AM: MReedB: that one failed 02:20:22 AM: fGewA: talking to inanimate objects is a sign of impending mental breakdown 02:20:46 AM: SamGod: or the dawn of religion 09:57:45 AM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: <MoaLess> "There it is, IRC: You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany, Luke" Thu, Apr 12, 2001 11:47:07 PM: Dr_Stein: what's a good usenet reader for Windows? 11:48:51 PM: TomSawyer: format c: /u <-- my favourite windoze usenet reader Sat, Apr 14, 2001 12:55:19 AM: PiMaster: ...Teddy Roosevelt: a man a plan a canal panama <--one of my fav's 11:29:07 PM: Coda: there's some lady in my works records names "Sum Dum Ho" Sun, Apr 15, 2001 01:26:52 AM: Icegod: the person who was sitting at my computer smells like ass 01:27:10 AM: Icegod: i can hardly stand it 01:27:18 AM: Icegod switches chairs to see if that helps 01:27:33 AM: Icegod opens a window, too 01:28:06 AM: SamGod: Icegod: aren't YOU the person sitting at yer compouter? 01:28:07 AM: Icegod: no, _before_ 01:31:05 AM: SamGod: crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline 01:31:32 AM: Coda: why do you smell gasoline SamGod? 01:32:04 AM: SamGod: Coda: 'cuz I smell like gasoline 01:32:08 AM: Coda: why? 01:32:37 AM: SamGod: Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a few hours last night 01:32:54 AM: Twist-: See? he is a psycho. 01:33:06 AM: SamGod: well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc... 01:33:16 AM: Coda smiles and backs away slowly 01:33:24 AM: Coda turns and runs far and fast 01:33:32 AM: Twist-: didn't occur to you to get inside the car? 01:33:43 AM: SamGod: didn't seem such a bad idea last night though, and I wasn't the only one doing it 01:34:07 AM: SamGod: Twist-: it wasn't a car, it was the generator we were using at the cemetary 01:34:44 AM: SamGod: my mom is like "It has probably absorbed through yer skin" 01:35:09 AM: Twist- avoids any attempt at subterfuge, and just runs the hell away. 01:35:30 AM: SamGod: spent 12 hours at a cemetary fondling a damn exaust pipe, yeah, what a life! 01:36:39 AM: SamGod: It was for wamrth dammit, I wasn't the only one doing it. 01:37:10 AM: SamGod: although the exaust singed off all the hair on my fingers Mon, Apr 16, 2001 01:36:49 AM: fGewA misses no chance to embarrass, humiliate, and publicly demean samgod 01:36:56 AM: fGewA: (neither, as I see it, does he) Tue, Apr 17, 2001 01:07:28 AM: SamGod ain't afraid of asking dumbass questions 01:07:37 AM: fGewA: samgod - we've noticed 01:13:38 AM: joybutton: so what you're trying to say is she's pregnant 01:14:06 AM: joybutton: with your child 01:14:09 AM: joybutton: but both of you were drunk, she thought you were the mailman 01:14:36 AM: Twist_: yeah.. krip thought she was the mailman too. 01:14:36 AM: joybutton: but the mailman was really out boning her boyfriend 01:14:58 AM: joybutton: so it all worked out 02:04:08 AM: joybutton: There once was a man from Seattle, who took over the world in a battle, but the man known as Gates would meet a bad fate, when his genitals were chewed off by cattle. Wed, Apr 18, 2001 08:50:32 AM: Ven21: ughh there's actually fluff inside my mouse! 08:50:44 AM: fGewA: ven - it's left over from when the mouse still had fur. 10:52:39 AM: Falcon- watches the rain of pee-sized hail bouncing off everything 10:55:16 AM: JFK: so, why do programmers confuse christmas with halloween? 10:59:28 AM: JFK: because 31 OCT = 25 DEC note: oct(al), dec(imal) - i.e. base8, base10 Thu, Apr 19, 2001 12:36:07 AM: SamGod: one of the most humiliating and emberrasing things that could possibly happen during a phone call with a young female support operator happened to me today 12:37:26 AM: fGewA: she turned you down? 12:37:55 AM: SamGod: It's been like 3 years since I'd last used it and totally forgoten it 12:38:19 AM: fGewA: if it'd been 3 years since you last totally forgot it, what were you worried about? Mon, Apr 23, 2001 11:31:48 PM: BrainWorm: I thought you were mad at Sinewave. 11:32:04 PM: Bekah: No... where did you get that idea? Him? 11:32:41 PM: BrainWorm: Bekah, you were on MacOS Rumors. Tue, Apr 24, 2001 01:18:48 AM: fGewA: does it work when you do the Terminal tho? 01:19:28 AM: haibert: mac-a, i don't have sexual intercourse with my applications :P 01:21:16 AM: haibert: [killa-g4:~] haibert% fuck me 01:21:16 AM: haibert: OK? fsck me? 01:38:59 AM: Server: Melodius has signed off (connection reset by a small african man with a large sign saying "land rights for gay whales") 02:32:31 AM: MoaLess: seen cluebat 02:32:33 AM: cluebat: You found me, MoaLess! 02:32:42 AM: MoaLess: at long last Wed, Apr 25, 2001 01:21:42 AM: haibert: i remember once my friend fit through a closed school gate, we went inside smoked a lot of extermly good weed...and he couldn't fit back out no matter how hard he tried 01:22:04 AM: Tolls: haibert: probably water retention... bloating.. probably that time of the month 10:13:46 PM: Twist-: the bot's not loading any of the channel modes from the config file 10:14:29 PM: ChrisC: Twist-: what if there's an error in the config file? will it just ignore the config file? 10:15:18 PM: Twist-: ChrisC: it'll scream, burst into flame, cartwheel across the room, and dive headlong into the wastebasket. Thu, Apr 26, 2001 10:43:06 PM: BrainWorm: smokin' on the devil's johnson. Fri, Apr 27, 2001 10:01:32 AM: JFK_: To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. 10:02:26 AM: Strider_: "Endian Little Hate We" -- Virtual PC Group's Motto. 03:26:17 AM: MrMojo: whats a mocktail? 03:26:28 AM: aPerson: I'd presume it's a cocktail without the alcohol 03:26:34 AM: aPerson: or without the cock Sun, Apr 29, 2001 11:20:21 PM: Dead_Ed: my coot to fronk lowly Mon, Apr 30, 2001 04:03:23 AM: fGewA: I want one with a mic on the dash and otherwise completely automated control 04:03:47 AM: fGewA: you say 'I wanna go to ______' and it drives you there according to the local traffic laws and the state of the roads 04:04:04 AM: fGewA: (e.g. under repair, crowded, etc.) 04:04:37 AM: kathee: you get in and it asks, 'where do YOU wanna go today? ' 04:04:48 AM: fGewA: kathee - that would be the one that crashes. 09:50:44 PM: Server: Equus911 has signed off (If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you!) Tue, May 01, 2001 12:38:24 AM: fGewA: [Usenet has] so much spam, it's paid for by Hormel ;P 02:10:34 AM: Zanti_: it's 2am, anyone know where my wife is? Thu, May 03, 2001 11:38:49 AM: morphbot: Has anyone here worked with POSOM 11:39:40 AM: fGewA: POSOM? 11:40:05 AM: Mumble01: put on some orange makeup 11:43:51 AM: fGewA: changed your mind, eh hai? 11:44:03 AM: Twist-: oh yeah? you're a rake. 11:45:49 AM: Mumble01: Is it just me, or does it strike anyone else as odd how diehard Java programmers tend to be more long-winded than your typical perl hacker? Do you think it has something to do with that whole "public static void NippleClamp extends RoachClip implements RubberGripperSqueezyThingie" stuff? 11:45:59 AM: Mumble01: Tarred for her pleasure, gzipped for yours. 12:53:44 PM: Capa: HOLY SHIT!!! 12:54:10 PM: Possible ponders that one 12:54:02 PM: Possible: holy water okay....but holy shit ??? 12:54:33 PM: Capa: Jesus had some. 12:54:58 PM: Possible: Capa: jesus shitted ???!?!?! 12:54:57 PM: Capa: sord: and people in hell want ice water ;) 12:58:17 PM: Capa: Well, Kathee, G4's suck at toasting bread. 12:58:33 PM: fGewA: capa - but you should see a P3 12:58:46 PM: fGewA: all you have to do is flip it over to get both sides 12:58:55 PM: fGewA: the toast, not the P3 01:23:56 PM: ChrisC: am i lagged out the ass? 01:24:34 PM: browse: Oh, is that where lag comes from? Fri, May 04, 2001 12:15:14 AM: J88: Apple's buyout of M$ predicted... Hezekiah 15:21 Sun, May 06, 2001 03:02:59 AM: MrMojo: from teh shoutcast docs 03:03:04 AM: MrMojo: '...Unix: Edit the sc_serv.conf file in the text editor of your choice. Tom would prefer you use Emacs, because it makes Justin really mad. Justin would prefer you use vi, because he thinks Tom suffers from some vicious malaise. You'll probably be lame and end up using Pico....' 03:03:08 AM: MrMojo is indeed using pico Mon, May 07, 2001 01:27:05 AM: Dr_Stein: I couldn't program my way out of a wet paper bag. Underwater. With a chainsaw. 02:34:56 AM: fGewA politely puts a life-preserver on the bot and throws it in a river 02:40:47 AM: aviv: WHAT IS CAPS? 02:40:41 AM: MrMojo: friend was telling me about one video [at stileproject.com] 02:40:53 AM: MrMojo: japanese chick takes a crap in another ones hands, second chick sniffs it then spews on it Wed, May 09, 2001 10:07:23 AM: Snausages: fgewa: you know what implement I might use to route packets to different interfaces based on which port they're using? 10:07:33 AM: fGewA: snausages - a traffic-cop? 10:07:39 AM: Snausages: is that something I can get at from plain old routing tables? 10:07:51 AM: fGewA: I dunno, but your local PD might be able to supply one Thu, May 10, 2001 10:45:08 AM: fGewA: #universe created on 6 feb 2000 :D 10:45:40 AM: BatmanPII: teh scientists have been lying to us!! 12:54:42 PM: Dr_Stein: I've got enough condoms for a whole summer's worth of water balloon terrorism Tue, May 15, 2001 01:03:31 AM: SamGod: I could sure use a good hard kick in the balls right now 01:04:12 AM: fGewA delivers samgod's requested good hard kick in the balls, while wearing a steel-toed boot with 2"-spiked shinguard 01:04:42 AM: SamGod: fGewA: that would be SOOOOO good if u were a chick 01:04:51 AM: SamGod: but since yer not 01:05:00 AM: SamGod: ********** O U C H *********** Wed, May 16, 2001 12:29:33 AM: SamGod: hey boys & squirrels 10:15:03 PM: Pesto: I THINK MACTEK IS LEGAL NOW! 10:15:15 PM: Twist-_ falls over. 10:15:16 PM: Pesto 's head explodes. 10:15:23 PM: MReedB chokes on his Dr Pepper Thu, May 17, 2001 12:17:48 AM: TurtleJP: I was wonder does apple have something similar to the MS cert programs? 12:19:31 AM: GrndZero: dude, certs are lame 12:20:05 AM: Tolls: GZ: but they have Retsin in the middle! Fri, May 18, 2001 11:01:49 AM: marb: need cracks 11:03:18 AM: fGewA: marb - look behind you. 11:37:01 AM: Sord spins fgewa around and around ten times 11:37:20 AM: fGewA hurls all over sord, in honour of that time nearly two years ago (editor's note: 23 sep 1999) 11:38:16 AM: Server: DarkEagle has signed off (Ya all are so fuggin ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest ya for mooning! ) Sun, May 20, 2001 01:45:39 AM: FarmerJoe: met Gary Coleman once, at the Train Store 01:46:08 AM: FarmerJoe: he kept walking by me and my brother 01:46:16 AM: FarmerJoe: I finally stopped him and said 01:46:22 AM: FarmerJoe: I know you 01:46:27 AM: FarmerJoe: you're Emanual Lewis 01:46:40 AM: FarmerJoe: I thought he was going to shit, he looked so disappointed Wed, May 23, 2001 10:58:43 PM: Napoleon: A magician worked on a cruise ship. Since the audience was different each week, he did the same tricks over and over again. One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. 10:58:57 PM: Napoleon: Once the parrot understood, she started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat! Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" 10:59:14 PM: Napoleon: The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. 10:59:26 PM: Napoleon: Then the ship sank. After swimming for a few hours, the magician found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared malevolently at each other but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another, and then another. 10:59:41 PM: Napoleon: Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could restrain itself no longer: "OK," she said, "I give up. What'd you do with the ship?" Thu, May 24, 2001 02:13:28 AM: SamGod: is it normal to get off on before & after plastic surgery medical pics of naked women? 02:15:30 AM: fGewA: we need to get samgod a girlfriend before he starts trying to get the bots to fellate him :P 02:40:29 PM: ChrisC chuckles at Magn0lia's random sig: "Fighting a holy war is like killing each other over who has the better invisible friend." 10:19:40 PM: SamGod: MadFly: hey, I designed the Nike logo 10:19:51 PM: MadFly: Really? 10:19:52 PM: MadFly: SamGOD???? 10:20:05 PM: SamGod: MadFly: yeah, and the AT&T deathstar 10:20:10 PM: Icegod: hahahah... you just believed something samgod said 10:20:21 PM: MadFly: I don't know SamGod soooo. 10:20:20 PM: fGewA: smile, you're on candid UMF Fri, May 25, 2001 02:42:11 AM: Coda: is it wrong to set my discman in my lap because it vibrates slightly? 02:43:18 AM: Stone: no but if you set your cellular on vibrate and stick in your shorts then start calling yourself you have a problem 02:43:27 AM: Coda has a problem... 03:03:50 AM: Server: Stone has signed off (Erection Reset by Beer) Sat, May 26, 2001 11:38:03 PM: TedEBear: hey, FarmerJoe, this is a family channel, wash your fucking mouth out with goddamned soap. :P Wed, May 30, 2001 10:28:31 PM: Redvo: imgonnaeatyoulittlefishie@yahoo.com 10:29:02 PM: DerekS: andyourlittledogtoo@hotmail.com Thu, May 31, 2001 11:07:12 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: Welcome to Undernet's Macintosh help channel. If you have a question, feel free to ask ChrisC... 11:13:09 PM: Dead_Ed: It's been so long since I've had anything hard. Mon, Jun 04, 2001 03:48:26 AM: LadyR: SamGod: he's, as TedE would put it, a Recovering Catholic. :) 04:10:31 AM: SamGod: fGewA: MTV censors "pot" "joint" "hash" 04:11:08 AM: fGewA: 'okay, put the p#*%!@! on the fire and we'll turn to the h#*@@$!#!! browns' Wed, Jun 06, 2001 11:27:51 PM: SSebeny: What About the iMac Rumors? 11:28:18 PM: Capa: SSebeny: the rumors are true: Apple did indeed make an iMac. It came out in '98. Thu, Jun 07, 2001 12:22:00 AM: SamGod: I had white creaming milky stuff all over my black pants, shoes, shirt, and the table my friend & I were eating on had about an inch (an INCH) of white foam on it 12:22:09 AM: SamGod: as did the floor under the table 02:39:17 AM: Server: J88 has signed off (trout-slapped by peer) 01:01:22 PM: Torgo: hey GeKKo, can you save me hundreds of dollars in car insurance? 01:03:11 PM: fGewA: you want GEICO, not GeKKo! now STOP CALLING HIM! 01:03:29 PM: Torgo: oh, sorry... =P 01:03:44 PM: fGewA: well that's un-called for! 01:05:14 PM: JFK-: heh, geico's 'savings' are bull. I saved 75% and more than tripled my coverage, but not from them (they offered a whole 200% discount :P :P) 01:06:09 PM: fGewA: 200% discount? they were paying you money? 01:06:17 PM: fGewA: aren't they meant to do that AFTER the accident? 10:40:00 PM: Server: t0ken has signed off (base all your belong are us to) Mon, Jun 11, 2001 11:28:03 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: <@Vig> sex on the brain J88? <J88> I'm male and I'm awake (after seeing the 4 jun 2001 'MTV cooking show':) 11:31:49 PM: MrMojo: fgewa: and look in on that J(*@# of beef? 11:32:19 PM: J88: I've got some sore joints after being on that last dance show Wed, Jun 13, 2001 11:51:18 PM: ChrisC: snobuni: hey, those charges were DROPPED :) 11:51:57 PM: ChrisC: LadyR: by a jury of my PEERS 11:52:23 PM: LadyR: I didn't know they could find that many axe murderers. Fri, Jun 15, 2001 02:47:13 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: <Magn0lia> "this monkey has only two asses. it is of no use to me." Sat, Jun 16, 2001 12:55:04 AM: Tooncin8r surfs the symantec site 12:55:29 AM: Tooncin8r: ooh, it's raining. There's a surprise. NOT! 12:55:42 AM: fGewA: toonces - you found that out on symantec.com? 01:38:25 AM: SamGod: wow, so the Lakers lost???????? 01:39:12 AM: fGewA: The Lakers have gone from a bickering bunch of apparent malcontents to the best playoff team in history to repeat NBA champions, a transformation capped by their 108-96 victory over the 76ers in Game 5 of the NBA Finals on Friday. --ESPN 01:39:03 AM: SamGod: they're saying Lakers fans got wild and violent 01:39:16 AM: fGewA: samgod, that was LAST year 01:39:23 AM: fGewA: this year was peaceful 01:40:53 AM: SamGod <-- moron 01:40:57 AM: fGewA: no samgod 01:41:07 AM: fGewA: we all know, deep in our hearts, you are not a moron 01:41:17 AM: fGewA: we only call you that because we can't think of a better word... 01:41:19 AM: fGewA: IDIOT. 02:00:36 AM: Redvo has perma-grin. 02:00:51 AM: fGewA: you were at the dentist today eh? ;) 03:01:17 AM: zirkonion: !time 03:04:10 AM: SamGod: the time around here has been temporarly suspended until further notice Mon, Jun 18, 2001 02:53:29 AM: Samrod: f45??????????????????????????? 02:53:43 AM: fGewA: that's a lotta function keys Wed, Jun 20, 2001 10:01:54 PM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: <EtherKnot> Downside to caffeine and sugar: your G4 appears too slow. Fri, Jun 22, 2001 10:06:25 AM: JFK-: cluebot told me [Amber] puts the 'bitch' back into 'BitchX' 10:08:19 AM: Dramatic1: After a power failure, it boots up 10:08:32 AM: fGewA: well, iMacs do that a lot 10:08:43 AM: Dramatic1: That's annoying, if you ask me Wed, Jun 27, 2001 12:55:07 AM: SamGod: I can grow breasts in the time it takes that page to load 12:56:28 AM: LafinJack: i TOLD you that you were a woman 10:45:25 PM: EtherKnot: everyone wants to have their picture taken by the sign. 10:45:38 PM: fGewA: the sign has a camera? Thu, Jun 28, 2001 11:30:18 PM: J88: want to hear a clean joke? 11:30:38 PM: J88: he took a bath with bubbles 11:30:43 PM: J88: want to hear a dirty joke? 11:32:42 PM: J88: bubbles was the girl next door Sat, Jun 30, 2001 01:18:07 AM: TedEBear: GBP $345.00 Per Week, Unlimited mileage 01:18:25 AM: TedEBear: now, tell me, is that # or $? :) Sun, Jul 01, 2001 11:40:01 PM: Coda: An emperor needs a samurai and asks a Japanese, a Chines, and a Jewish samurai to each demonstrate their skills. The Japanese samurai releases a fly from a matchbox. ~Whoosh~ goes his sword, and the fly drops to the ground in two pieces. The Chinese samurai opens his matchbox and out pops a fly. ~whoosh-whoosh~ goes his sword and the fly drops to the ground in four pieces. 11:40:18 PM: Coda: The Jewish samurai releases his fly. ~whoosh-whoosh~ goes his sword, but the fly continues to buzz around. The emperor, perplexed, says, "You didn't kill the fly." The Jewish samurai smiles and replies "Right. But he'll never mate again." 11:43:28 PM: Coda: why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Iraq? 11:43:44 PM: Coda: they don't want to wear out the camels Thu, Jul 05, 2001 02:29:53 AM: Ame666: very funy 02:30:04 AM: Ame666: did u eat a clown this morninig ? 02:30:14 AM: javacat: why 02:30:27 AM: javacat: do you think clowns taste funny? Sun, Jul 08, 2001 02:27:05 AM: p|zza: crap 02:27:14 AM: Zoetic: no crap, pizza 02:27:15 AM: Zoetic: dont like that 02:27:19 AM: Zoetic: ;-) 02:27:44 AM: fGewA: zoetic - it's not a very good topping :) Mon, Jul 09, 2001 12:13:21 AM: Coda doesn't like chicks who're bigger'n he is 12:13:38 AM: fGewA: and you have to specify petite? how small are you? <G> 11:28:02 PM: Drex_: the mac is in the living room 11:28:06 PM: Drex_: i'm running back and forth 11:28:26 PM: EvilStein: RUN, DREX RUN!! 11:28:32 PM: EvilStein: get yerself a beer on the next trip 11:28:35 PM: TedEBear: Trip, drex, trip. Tue, Jul 10, 2001 02:17:08 AM: pramzap: of course-- in this day and age we must all take precautions 02:17:22 AM: Aloosenat: Macintosh Condom 02:17:33 AM: Aloosenat: Protection for your most intimate moments 11:33:24 AM: BatmanX: [02:32] <BugBomb87> dabeej, if you dont get rid of windows xp, i will have 11:33:24 AM: BatmanX: bill gates come to your front door, spew propaganda for MS, then set a bag 11:33:24 AM: BatmanX: full of dog shit on fire on your doorstep Wed, Jul 11, 2001 01:04:45 PM: Dr_Stein: clinton, always surrounded by Bush 01:06:04 PM: Dr_Stein: I'm just trying to imagine some guy going all WWF on that shark 01:06:51 PM: EtherKnot: "Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?! TUNA!" 01:06:56 PM: EtherKnot: "Um..." 01:25:45 PM: goulip: any rumors about MacWorld ? 01:26:50 PM: cookiemon: steve jobs is rumored to annouce that he has been having swinging parties in his basement since 1987 Sat, Jul 14, 2001 01:57:17 AM: TedEBear: Lostngone: you ever have a dog as a pet? 01:57:28 AM: Lostngone: yea a cat Fri, Jul 20, 2001 08:01:54 AM: DShadow_: "Dubya, you are the weakest dink! Goodbye!" Tue, Jul 24, 2001 02:43:57 AM: Icegod: but... "Trust in Allah, but always tie your camel" Wed, Jul 25, 2001 11:51:14 PM: cookiemon: when an ambulance is trying to get up first ave, if everyone pulled over the right as far as they could and stopped, the street would be impassable 11:51:46 PM: fGewA: yeh, and then the ambulance gets to go off-roading Thu, Jul 26, 2001 02:43:12 AM: Stereo: guys, I need instant advice 02:43:29 AM: fGewA hands stereo a packet of instant advice - just pour into water and mix Fri, Jul 27, 2001 11:37:23 AM: diaball: is that your F-ing answer? 11:45:01 AM: Pheromone: EtherKnot: It is microwavable, but I want crispy crust, so it takes 25 minutes in the oven. 11:45:23 AM: Twist: Pheromone: or 25 seconds with a blowtorch. 12:55:02 PM: Falcon- wonders if someone pointed out porn is printed on paper constantly and in large volumes and that kids have access to it they would outlaw paper too :-P 12:56:33 PM: kathee: SAVE the trees!!!!! 12:56:49 PM: Falcon- will make big $ in smugling toilet paper down south 02:49:25 PM: erisynne: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT JESUS! 10:39:30 PM: ToolBoy: cluebot, botsnack? 10:39:32 PM: cluebot: thanks ToolBoy :) 10:39:46 PM: ToolBoy: cluebot, i didn't say i fave it to you 10:39:47 PM: cluebot: ToolBoy: sorry... Mon, Jul 30, 2001 11:22:15 PM: _Chiper_: any self respecting mac programmer is gonna program on a mac Wed, Aug 01, 2001 09:56:14 PM: erisynne: a big dick is a big dick just like a zoom lens is a zoom lens no matter what focal depth you have it in! 09:57:41 PM: J88: raise your hand if you've got me on ignore 11:08:35 PM: Orwell^: wanna know how to get a guitarist to play quietly? 11:08:45 PM: Orwell^: set some music in front of him :) Thu, Aug 02, 2001 10:13:48 PM: erisynne ponders exposure compensation, an option that has never been available to her before 10:14:12 PM: fGewA: amy - I'm sure a lot of people would pay for your exposure Sat, Aug 04, 2001 01:36:24 AM: Dead_Ed: I'm taking my electric scooter, though. 01:36:54 AM: cookiemon: im thinking of ditching the electric and goin lowtech 01:37:14 AM: cookiemon: dunno bout shaving cream tho 01:37:32 AM: Dead_Ed: You shave with a scooter? 01:38:13 AM: EtherKnot: NOw that'd be skill. 01:38:09 AM: cookiemon: well, my whiskers have developed a toughness over the years that dulls the blades in short order 01:38:40 AM: TedEBear hands cookiemon a lawn mower. Wed, Aug 08, 2001 01:16:20 AM: Torgo: Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. One says to the other "I lost an electron!" The other asks "are you sure?" and the first one says "I'm positive!" 02:33:23 AM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: SamGod: it's so not hard, I've done it 0 times Mon, Aug 13, 2001 12:38:53 AM: Coda: There's this guy driving home late at night, a cop waiting to bust speeders notices the young man drive by suspiciously late so decides to stop him. He does and he approaches the window and it rolls down. The cop looks at the young driver and says, "Yer eyes look a little red there son, you been smokin the marijuana?" 12:38:54 AM: Coda: the young driver replies, "No officer, but your eyes look a little glazed over, you been eatin donuts?" 01:12:11 AM: _Chiper_: Shrek shares many expessions that only Mike Myers uses 01:12:19 AM: EtherKnot: Like being green! Wed, Aug 15, 2001 10:34:03 PM: Capa: "Attnetion passengers, all of our gas has poured out of the wing." *passengers are not impressed* "and we're out of coffee." *passengers start mass riot* Mon, Aug 20, 2001 12:55:01 AM: LafinJack: If the bible proves the existence of god, then Superman comics prove the existence of Superman. - usenet Tue, Aug 21, 2001 10:38:54 PM: Capa: here's a game. What's your first and last name? 10:39:36 PM: EtherKnot: Butt Munch. 10:40:08 PM: Capa: ok. your Jennifer Lopez name is "B. Mun" 10:41:23 PM: EtherKnot: So what if my name is Ivan Poole ? Fri, Aug 24, 2001 02:18:22 AM: cookiemon: so imagine this 02:18:27 AM: cookiemon: you have a truck 02:19:02 AM: cookiemon: someone says they bought a pirated tape from you that you were selling out of the back of your truck 02:19:32 AM: cookiemon: the mpaa calls up the DOT and tells them that their roads facilitate your distribution of copyrighted material 02:19:47 AM: cookiemon: the DOT in turn digs a ditch through your driveway Thu, Sep 06, 2001 11:51:09 PM: BlameMe: anyone got any opinion about sony car decks? 11:51:56 PM: mneptok: great on a cracker! 11:52:04 PM: mneptok: oh wait, that's cheese. nm. Mon, Sep 10, 2001 03:24:29 PM: Server: JFK has set the topic on #macintosh to Hookers on drugs with farm animals, who pay you to encode your music! Tonight on sick, sad world! 03:26:38 PM: Server: Snausages has set the topic on #macintosh to Crack-smoking Prostitute Dairy Goats Exposed as Criminal MP3 Trading Ring: Film at 11 Wed, Sep 12, 2001 of the WTC/Pentagon tragedy: 01:21:59 AM: cookiem0n: <Dial_tone> I want to know why miss cleo didn't warn us. Fri, Sep 14, 2001 12:01:44 AM: MacGOD: Strider, macserv was last seen on #macintosh only -865505842 seconds ago. 12:24:54 AM: Wraith: Allah's got a special spot picked out in Moslem Heaven for bin Laden and his gang....true they'll get 70 virgins each....but they will immediately recognize why they are virgins 01:05:47 AM: MReedB: my best freind has a bumper sticker I really want 01:05:51 AM: MReedB: cops hate it 01:05:58 AM: MReedB: Question Authority 01:06:22 AM: MReedB: he gets pulled over cause of it 01:06:34 AM: MReedB: they always ask "Is that some sort of joke?" 01:06:56 AM: TedEBear: MReedB: does he reply "I ask the questions, thanks" Sat, Sep 15, 2001 10:28:27 PM: EtherKnot: fuckin fuckity fuck fucked NT server? 10:28:33 PM: EtherKnot: I remember THAT release! 11:32:43 PM: Samrod: what's a backhoe? 11:33:02 PM: fGewA: go read a book on construction apparati for 5-year-olds 11:33:27 PM: Samrod: fGewA: go learn regexps 11:33:37 PM: fGewA: samgod - considering I wrote one that works and you didn't... 11:33:48 PM: Samrod: wrote what that works? 11:33:55 PM: fGewA: a backhoe, duh. ;P Mon, Sep 17, 2001 11:06:48 PM: Strider: o/~ Oh! I'm a sysadmin, and I'm O.K. I grep all night, and I awk all day! o/~ Tue, Sep 18, 2001 12:59:28 PM: Moojuice: unimplemented trap - You have to set the trap, or it wont catch anything Wed, Sep 19, 2001 02:36:32 AM: Samrod: "My love for you is like diareah, I just can't hold it in." Thu, Sep 20, 2001 10:18:30 AM: JFK-: Connection error: sobriety reset by beer 11:04:23 PM: EK: Did you know that the current Back To School promo doesn't allow Education Purchases? Tue, Sep 25, 2001 10:27:04 AM: MoR: haaa 10:27:15 AM: fGewA: please cough up hairballs elsewhere Sun, Sep 30, 2001 01:43:09 AM: TedEBear: coolerguy: by the way, #mentalhelp is down the flipping hall. 01:43:25 AM: fGewA: if however you are more a somersault person you will need to make six right turns 02:13:24 AM: Dr_Stein: mrtangent-I might as well email God. I'm more likely to get a response. Thu, Oct 04, 2001 12:42:59 PM: erisynne: can someone tell me wtf my bullets are showing up as 3-leaf clovers in Word? 12:53:03 PM: DShadow_: eri- because word wants you to put happy flowery planty things in your documents, not bullet holes? Sat, Oct 06, 2001 11:37:16 PM: LafinJack: 23:36:23: DeusXMac: diff eq kicks my nuts 11:37:16 PM: LafinJack: 23:36:36: greyscale: it can aim that small? Sun, Oct 07, 2001 03:11:31 AM: aPerson: LOL... Topic for #nzlinux: <aPerson> If anyone wants to know where I am, look at the topic in #Macintosh || -:- Topic (#macintosh): Chloroform the one you love. <-- oooookay.... Mon, Oct 08, 2001 11:29:43 PM: kinch: bah "America: Building parking lots for Russia... one Afghan city at a time." Tue, Oct 09, 2001 02:05:42 AM: LafinJack: so it's like voyager, but everything is different Mon, Oct 15, 2001 01:44:33 AM: Server: LafinJack has signed off (Audiophile (auadiaoaphile), n. One who listens to the audio equipment, not the music. (brb)) Thu, Oct 18, 2001 01:33 PM EtherKnot: watching gnutella queries is fun 01:33 PM EtherKnot: someone is searching 9 TB for .zip <DShadow_> I'd buy apple stock if I knew what APple was announcing next week <DerekS> DShadow_: So if you knew they were going release a toaster you would buy? Sat, Oct 20, 2001 * VideoDir wonders why OS X won't run on his Mac Plus <TedEBear> VideoDir: you gotta put the mac plus so that it's at a 45 degree angle. <TedEBear> that way, the + is then a X <]just-me[> I'm dutch you know, it's not that easy for me to speak english []just-me[] is just-me@u212-239-164-248.adsl.pi.be <fGewA> dutch or belgian? <]just-me[> belgian <]just-me[> flemish <fGewA> so you're just a multicultural kinda guy. Sun, Oct 21, 2001 *** Quits: EtherKnot:#macintosh [~etherknot@010.209-115-212-0.interbaun.com] (Rehab is for quitters.) Mon, Oct 22, 2001 <Pesto> The new Vacuum: iSuck <Pesto> The new Adhesive from Apple: iGloo <Dr_Stein> Apple's military product: iBomb <Dr_Stein> eNuke <Samrod> if Apple makes something really ugly: iSore <Dr_Stein> I FOUND IT <Dr_Stein> WOOFUCKINGHOO <LafinJack> Dr_Stein: yeah, i bet your girlfriend is happy too Tue, Oct 23, 2001 <PCTek> "Anthrax found near tennis tourney actually cocaine." <Twist> Snausages: Hey, do you think you've got that Metallica virus people are talking about? <Snausages> twist: you mean, kinda like anthrax but lasts longer and doesn't *quite* kill you? <Twist> nono.. this one infects you against your will, then sues you for failing to obtain a license to use the virus. Wed, Oct 24, 2001 <TedEWork> Latest news reports advice that a cell of 5 terrorists have been operating at your job site. Police advised earlier today that 4 of the 5 have ben detained. Security stated that the 4 are Bin Sleepin, Ben Drinkin, Bin Whinin, and Bin Fightin. They cannot find the 5th, Bin Werkin, as nobody fits the description provided. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Werkin will be very easy to spot. Sat, Oct 27, 2001 <EtherKnot> "If you look sideways you'll notice that Windows XP is an emoticon . So really it's Windows Blaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh." Wed, Oct 31, 2001 <Samrod> what's "Sound Enhancer" in iTunes2? <EtherKnot> It actually enhances your sock washing. [after an earthquake] <_Chiper_> it's ironic because I was telling a friend yesterday that it had been a while since we had felt an earthquake in SD <fGewA> chiper - just don't mention that it's been awhile since we've had a quake greater than 8... <fGewA> ...er, oops. ;) Thu, Nov 01, 2001 <TedEBear> 02:38:01: <B^Vis> Q: what do rednecks do for halloween? <TedEBear> 02:38:04: <B^Vis> A: Pump kin. Fri, Nov 02, 2001 <TedEBear> Falcon: your point? <Falcon_> TedEBear: we need to have a point? crap, i have been IRC'n all wrong! Mon, Nov 05, 2001 <FarmerJoe> bought her a case of generic "Potted Meat" this year <cheesymac> potted meat ... did it grow ? <cheesymac> you gotta water that stuff regularly i hear Wed, Nov 07, 2001 *** Joins: Redvo [~poo@63.200.64.90] has joined #macintosh <Redvo> GODDAMNIT I HATE REAL! <Snausages> hi redvo! <Snausages> nice to see your smile again Fri, Nov 09, 2001 [#macintosh] Topic: kathee beats B around the face with a plaid bunny :) <aPerson> kathee, how could you be so mean! <aPerson> that poor bunny! * fGewA ponders to whom pizza is talking <DShadow_> why, he's talking to his anchovies, of course. <BrainWorm> The whole problem is there are no girlie pies in here to take ones mind off reality. Tue, Nov 13, 2001 <Snausages> "For international flights, we recommend arriving at the airport about 35 days prior to departure time to ensure a smooth trip" <EuroTrash> Snaus: with outsourcing that's no longer the case at all. But I agree that the US standard of living is hopelessly hooked to weaponry production...something that's gonna have to stop unless you guys want a regular arrival of kamikaze Boings in the future <JFK_> What's a kamikaze boing? a pissed-off slinky? Wed, Nov 14, 2001 <Samrod> only problem is it's a SCSI burner, and my 8600 has SCSI <fGewA> samgod - er, why is that a problem? <Samrod> because <Samrod> oh <Samrod> fGewA: dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <Samrod> fGewA: yer a fucking genius!!!!!!!!! * Samrod slaps himself! <fGewA> compared to you, hell yes. <Samrod> that's not a problem!! I can use this burner! <Samrod> damn brain, what the hell was I thinking up here in my head <TedEBear> damned name words! (Who's Mark, Ed, and Lee, and why do we have to call 'em when there's an improvement?) Thu, Nov 15, 2001 <strider> StStryfe: yeah.. Canada has pledged 1000 solders, 2 of its largest battleships, and 6 fighter jets.. after the exchange rate, that works out to 2 Mounties, a Canoe, and a flying squirrel. Fri, Nov 16, 2001 <StStryfe> Life is a very trying thing. I don't think I'll get out alive. <]just-2[> JFK: I only let one cheek be beated, my other one does not have to be hitted olso Wed, Nov 21, 2001 JFK-: "SCSI is NOT voodoo. There are *fundamental technical reasons* why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain once in a while." -- ZenBonsai Tue, Nov 27, 2001 *** Signoff: LafinJack (The world owes you nothing, it was here first. - Mark Twain) Dr_Stein: i need csome nice hot coffeecat Thu, Nov 29, 2001 03:42:35 PM: Blue_Note: anybody who knows how to import an adress book in eudora 5.1 from 5.1 ? Mon, Dec 03, 2001 10:42:24 PM: Nidhoggr: my mom used to freak out jehovah's witneses. 10:43:00 PM: Nidhoggr: I'd answer door and she'd come out in the middle of the conversation and say "have you found someone for the human sacra... Oh hi! I didn't see you there... c'mon in!" Fri, Dec 07, 2001 Edge^ sighs...someone smack me RIGHT IN THE HEAD... LafinJack smacks Edge^ RIGHT IN THE HEAD mledford smakes Edge^ RIGHT IN THE HEAD Dr_Stein clobbers Edge^ with a frying pan Edge^ crumples to a heap on the floor... fGewA smacks edge^ RIGHT IN THE HEAD too Edge^: Boy...I can just feel the love...no wait...those are lumps... LafinJack: you asked for it ;) Edge^: Yeah, I know... Dr_Stein gives Edge^ an ice pack Edge^: Well, I didn't ask for the frying pan, but I'll take what I can get... LafinJack: i think two smacks to the head, one smake, and a frying pan is a pretty good response Edge^: Yeah...a concussion does a body good... Thu, Dec 13, 2001 EtherKnot: Strider: "How many keys is he doing?" "I don't know. It's off the scale!" Fri, Dec 21, 2001 01:11:14 AM: Snuzy: whats a penis? Sun, Dec 23, 2001 Dr. David Banner == the Incredible Hulk, in case you didn't know. Samrod: STein: I'm just hoping my dick doesn't undergo what David Banner's entire body does fGewA: you mean bursting out of your pants? LafinJack: you mean turn green? Samrod: swell up into a green musclebound giant Sat, Dec 29, 2001 11:48:36 PM: cluebot: i heard dsl was digital subscriber line or a conspiricy to collect geeks near major cities so they'll be easier to round up when society collapses. or Dammit Slow Link Mon, Dec 31, 2001 03:57:17 AM: Server: Topic for #macintosh: Happy GNU Year! || 'NewUser: hey, can someone point me to a mac help channel? please.... EOF... for now :) You never know when I might be watching :) (But in case I'm not, send submissions to: macrulez@softhome.net )